Be Collaborative, Not Combative
I’ve had a recent experience that reinforced the benefits of being collaborative with others.
Firstly, I met with a stakeholder who has reputation for be tough on “defects.” We were to discuss 30 open issues and agree on solutions. The discussions got off to a good start, but stumbled when we couldn’t agree on a minor issue. The stakeholder expected an issue to be addressed that we thought was out of scope. For the stakeholder this was annoying, and I felt the positivity of our discussions disappearing. Sensing this, I acknowledged the frustrations of the stakeholder and suggested we first focus on closing the matters where we did agree.
After this we discussed the areas where we disagreed. I focussed on understanding what the stakeholder expected us to do, and then discussed what we might be willing to do despite falling outside of the project’s current scope. This completely shifted the tone of the conversation and allowed for a more productive discussion. In the end we agreed a way forward on all 30 issues and were able to close 25 defects on the spot. A great outcome considering these issues had remained unresolved for the past 12 months.
But the Scope is the Scope!
I know you may be thinking if it’s outside of our scope it isn’t our problem. Sure, from a black and white contractual perspective you may be correct. But think about how often you will spend arguing that point over the next 12-18 months. Scope was of no concern to this stakeholder. Being told “not in scope” agitated him. When agitated, he was less likely to agree to close out any issues. This would give us both a poor outcome.
Being collaborative and non-combative does not mean you need to be a push over either. It just requires you to step back and take a big picture view of the objective. Then you can use positive behaviours to influence the strategic outcome, without getting stuck arguing about minor issues.
Lesson Learnt
The lesson is to approach discussions, meetings, and conversations with a desire to achieve mutual benefit. Do not try to win. The best negotiations end in a win-win outcome, favouring both parties. This applies even if the other party is combative and uncompromising.
Think about the times you’ve taken a strong position on something and refused to engage with someone else. Did it serve you well? I expect you spent more time revisiting the issue, and rehashing it, than you would have if you’d found a compromise. If you find yourself getting irritated or annoyed during discussions with clients, colleagues or stakeholders pause, even step away if needed. Once you’ve regained your composure come back to the conversation and focus on the win-win outcome.
